Hi ho, hi ho, its off to work I go

Silly Alaska Fact: Owners of flamingos may not let their pet into barber shops.

What if my flamingo needs a haircut? Badly? 

I know I haven't posted in a while, and that has a heck of a lot to do with the fact that I need to pass a few of these classes I'm in to graduate (you know, no big deal), but per a request and some inspiration I had today, I have some words for y'all. 

They start a little like this....  Hi ho, hi ho, its off to work we go....

Whistle whistle whistle whistle...

No, I have not actually ever carried a pick ax to work, or a lantern (actually, false, I had to carry a flashlight once). But, over the course of my education, in order to broaden my horizons and add some weight to my wallet, I have had a series of rather interesting jobs. Again, I could probably devote an entire blog to each one of these experiences, but I'll fill you in on the nitty gritty.

Job 1: Lab Assistant

Somehow, by blind luck and a little charm, I got myself a job as a lab assistant for a botany professor my freshman year in college. Did I know anything at all about botany? No. Actually, I'm pretty sure I got poison ivy that summer, despite constant warnings from my parents when I was a child. Luckily for me, most of the research that particular professor was doing had to do with botany education, which was right down my alley. I learned all about grunt work, typing transcriptions for 20 hours a week. Seriously, all you do is listen to a super slowed down tape recording and type what people are saying. When you finally take the headphones off at the end of the day, you think the whole world was moving by as slowly as the recording was. But, it was a great job. Flexible hours. I learned a lot, and I did actually get to do a few things with plants before my time was up.

Which leads me to job 2: The RA

Yeahhhhhhh. 3 years and a junior police badge later, I am still a resident assistant at this fine institution. What am I supposed to do in this job? Well, I think I'm supposed to enforce rules and teach college students how to live together and better themselves. This is what they tell you the job is going to be like.

 What do I end up doing?

Actually, I just found the perfect gift that every RA should receive upon accepting the position.

This is what it probably says on the inside of that book:

1) Lock your door. Always. Even if you do this, more than likely your own staff will key in to your room and scare the bajesus out of you.

2) Within the first 2 months you will develop PTSD that is brought on by the sound of a knock on your door. Why? Because when people knock, something awful has ALWAYS happened.

3) If you let them, your residents will be your best friends. They will never leave your room. This is what the office you work for wants you to do. However, it makes all rule enforcement very awkward. It also makes sleeping difficult because people will always be in your bed.

4) Just wait until you find out how much paperwork you get to do. Every student has 30 papers attached to them. Every move you make has 5 papers attached to it. You will spend the next year(s) of your life trying to convince your boss that its okay that you haven't done all your paperwork. 

5) You could have a really good boss or a really bad boss. If you have a good boss, you will be a super RA. If you have a bad boss, you will want to quit your job immediately.

6) If you do want to quit your job immediately, you probably can't. Remember, you signed a housing contract and you probably became an RA because you needed the money. Prepare to pay.

7) Ever heard of programming? Yes, programming like a full time paid professional does for organizations. Guess what. That's part of your job too. 

8) On the nights when you are so tired you think your eyes are going to fall out of your head, you will have to stay up and be on duty. Try not to fall down the stairs or lock yourself out on these nights.

9) All of your friends will be other RA's. If you have friends that aren't RA's they will either become RA's or they will not remain friends with you.

10) No one will understand your job and everyone will tell you that you get paid to do nothing.

Now, while the above are a little gloomy and doomy, they are legit true. They aren't the whole truth though. True story: I LOVED my first year as an RA. The second and third left a little to be desired. It may go to show that too much of a good thing is a horrible thing. Moral: Be an RA for only one year. The end.

Summer Jobs: Camp Counselor and Customer Service

Although summer jobs are only a few months of the year, they are full time so they tend to be quite the experience. For 2 summers I worked as a camp counselor for a day camp in my home town. And if you've ever been a camp counselor, you will understand what I'm about to outline.

A day in the life:

Hours 1: I can do this, I can do this!

Hour 2: None of these activities are going to work today but I'm still expected to do them.

Hour 3: If the directors think these will work, they need to get out here and try it themselves.

Hour 4: When is lunch time?

Hour 5: We made it to lunch time. We might make it through the day. Good thing I brought enough food to feed every child. They love Nilla Wafers. They will beg like dogs.

Hour 6: Please just let me sit by this pool and make sure no one drowns.

Hour 7: I am burnt and so are all the campers. Why do we go to the pool every day? Also, why does the kid that can't swim always end up in the deep end?

Hour 8: If their parents don't get here soon, I can't be held responsible for what may happen.

Again, this job didn't traumatize me. But after 40 hours a week for an entire summer, you are ready to be done with the shenanigans. 

My most recent summer job was quite a change from anything I've ever done. Working as a student manager for summer conferences at my school, I got a full range of management training on top of some sick customer service skills. 

This is exactly how I answered the phone. Well, at least with this mindset. I learned how to make people happy and still get my job done. All while driving a golf cart! 

Yeahhhhhhhhhh :)

All in all, I've had some pretty nice jobs that have seen me through the bills and managed to make me a little stronger along the way. As I begin the more professional job search of post college-ness, I find the market a tough one. Even for a science teacher. Most recently, I applied for a job to be a moth catcher....

Yup, sorta like that:)

We'll see what comes of it, but I'm more than glad to spend the summer catching insects. I'm like a frog...only less slimy. 

Thanks for reading :)

They should charge admission for this

Alaska Fact: While it is legal to shoot bears, waking a sleeping bear for the purpose of taking a photograph is prohibited.

Check plus. I got it. No poking bears.

Gotta love Alaska :)

At the school I attend, I have seen many many strange things that I believe are unique to this environment. I was just reminded of this in my physiology class when the following situation happened.

Guy walks into class. He is holding coffee and looks lost. He stands at the back of the room and smiles. Strange. Then he leaves. 10 seconds later he comes back in. Then he stands around for another 10 seconds again. He leaves and comes back (mind you, this entire time, the door is making a TERRIBLE creaking noise). This third time he enters the room, he marches to the front. I expect him to have something to say to the professor. Instead, he hands the coffe to a girl who is sitting in the very first row, says nothing, and walks out. *cue class stare*

I mean, really? Do you feel so entitled that you have your boyfriend deliver coffee to you in the middle of class. And if so, why do you not sit in the back. And the professor was floored, but obviously didn't know what to say. Are you KIDDING me?! I live for the day that happens in my classroom.

"Excuse me? Is that for me? No? Do you need whatever is in that cup to survive? Actually, no you don't. Because this is physiology and I'm a genius, thusly, I know that coffee isn't necessary for your survival. Why then, is it interrupting my class?"

Instead, my professor just said "That was weird. Where's mine?"

There's a sense of entitlement here that is prevalent and slightly sickening. I don't know if its the type of people, the type of school, or the overall cost, but people here do the strangest things. I read a story in the student paper a few weeks ago about a student and his father, who went to a bar in town, got toasted, and the father got into a fight, and then ended up getting arrested because of it. Apparently, the father said to the police "You must have an agenda. You must be democrats."

Yep. Definitely democrats. 

Things like this happen all the time here. And though its not limited to students, that's where we see it the most. I wonder how educated people can be so ignorant. After 4 years in an institution of higher education, you would think that eyes would have been opened a liiiiiiiittle bit. For instance, I watched a documentary on human trafficking in Burma yesterday and the things I saw actually gave me acid reflux. In what way could I ever consider myself entitled to something when there are people in the world who don't even have control over their own bodies? 

There comes a time when you just HAVE to grow up. If ignorance is bliss, then I'd rather be unhappy and informed. You know you're ready to graduate when you've realized that the behavior you once attributed to youth is actually learned. This is why we have to teach.

Longtime Addiction

Fun Fact:
Alaska law-Moose may not be viewed from an airplane.

So if I see one, I'll shut my eyes!

I was sitting at lunch yesterday, munching on some rabbit food (salad) and I suddenly became very thirsty. Being without a water bottle, I had to reenter the establishment from which I had purchased food to get a drink. In this particular eatery, there was a plethora of choices. Any juice you might desire, punch, tea, milk, water, flavored water, coffee (iced, hot, or otherwise), smoothies, exotic drinks ...... With so many choices, one might think that I'd have to spend a good deal of time making a decision.

However, I knew exactly what my palate needed before I even got out of my seat. I small cup, filled a little more than halfway with ice, submerged in ice cold diet coke.

I thought this was a particularly fitting picture considering what I think of as a long-standing addiction. Thankfully, in my younger years my intake of such substances was limited. In fact, before I became insatiably obsessed with diet coke my preference was Vanilla Coke. I think though that eventually I realized that drinking large amounts of sugar was not the best option, so I switched to putting the allegedly carcinogenic Aspartame in my system.

My obsession with diet coke is unique in my opinion. For me, its not about having a fridge stocked full, or choosing it as a substitute to water. No, I still drink other things (my cranberry juice wanted me to tell you that this morning). But, no matter the flavor of the day, the type of food, or the mood I'm in, diet coke never ceases to please me.

Do you hear that, Coca-Cola? I know there aren't illegal drugs in your drinks any longer. But I also know that diet coke from a fountain drink dispenser is a standard separate from any drink I've ever had. I've been out at a bar at night and wanted nothing more than "diet on the rocks." There is a place that I find as those CO2 bubbles pop under my nose that I struggle to find anywhere else. Peace. Serenity. Diet-coke.

Never mind the stains its leaving on my teeth. Never mind the undifferentiated cells in my body that are being influenced by aspartame. Never mind the walls of my digestive organs being dissolved by the acid.  It's all good. It's one of those situations where you have weighed the cost and decided you can't do math anyway so who cares about cost.

This leaves me wondering what happens to my diet coke addiction in Alaska? Maybe they only drink bear repellant! And I will not be allowed to bring an emergency supply of diet coke on the plane per the regulations of the people who are in charge of making regulations. 

The wild frontier. Here I come!

Putting the PRO in PROcrastinate

From now on, I'm going to start each post with a fun fact about Alaska so we can all keep in mind the things I have to look forward to. So...

Fun Fact: 

   Kodiak Bear = alaskan wildlife

 1,400 lbs

 11ft tall

                                      That's Big Bart. He's a friendly Kodiak.
                                                 They are not all like that.


Now back to your regularly scheduled program.

Long ago, I acquired a trait that will probably define the majority of my life. Though I'm not entirely sure how it was developed, I have a superior ability to procrastinate just about everything I do. What I've found is that some things suffer from that, and some things benefit. Things that suffer include:
-Deadlines for school and work
-Anything required for finances
-Stress level

Luckily, I'm almost as responsible as I am a PROcrastinator, so things tend to get done. I also work well "under the gun," all things considered, so the finished products are usually of relatively high quality. I have, however, started to wonder what my life would look like if there was less procrastination. I mean, if I started papers more than 8 hours before they were due, or studied for tests a little bit every day instead of pulling a 12 hour marathon study session (never an all-nighter though...girl needs her beauty sleep.) My whole college career has been enveloped in a shroud of procrastination, which can be verified by anyone that has ever had class with me.

As life marches on and deadlines become more important, my priorities have started to align themselves. Rushing to get a paper done is more acceptable than rushing through your taxes and committing fraud unintentionally. In school, its trendy to be behind and in a rush. It's almost like you're not doing your duty as a student if you don't leave things to the last possible moment. The thing is, if you live your life like a harried college student, your hair starts to fall out, you turn to alcohol as a vice and you have to create a new time zone to run your lateness from (true story, I tell people I run on MST...Megan Standard Time.)

If life was actually about YOU, then that would be acceptable. However, life is not about you or me, its about we. And everyone pays when someone doesn't pull their weight.

So I raise my cranberry juice this morning to new beginnings. Full of met timelines and PROductivity. Not for you or for me, but for we.

Tune in next time for more exciting news about Alaska :)